But in Gresham, just to our north, there’s a school, two gas stations, a florist, an insurance salesman, four restaurants, a hardware store and a bank branch.
But I am content. I think we can bring some life to Gresham, TX. Here’s how:
- A McDonald’s. I like Dairy Queen and Whataburger, but sometimes I need a sausage biscuit, okay? And not only would you do a lot of business, McDonald’s – you’d also force Whataburger to start charging normal human prices for items.
- A Target. Maybe that’s wishful thinking, but you gotta’ understand. The Wrights are in Target at least once a day. And I really don’t like driving into town.
- Less roadkill. Really, Gresham? This is like the Bermuda Triangle for varmints. Let’s dial down the number of bloody, matted corpses on the drive to school, ‘kay?
- Tell the bike cop to relax. This dude DOES. NOT. PLAY. The speed limit in the school zone is 20. Not 21. Racing through there at 21 mph will get you a ticket, mister. But then again – shouldn’t all bike cops relax? Why are they so much more grouchy?
- More billboards. Is Gresham a major thoroughfare and I just don’t know it? Do we need 15 giant billboards? Especially the one that rotates three ads. I appreciate the technology, but I feel a bit oversold.
- A festival of some kind. I mean, Bullard has that patriotic carnival. Can’t Gresham throw something together as a general “na na na na boo boo” to our southern neighbors?
- Professional football team. Because the Cowboys are so old news.
- More churches. Joking. Only joking. Because everyone in Tyler should be at Bethel anyway, right?
- Fewer dudes in convertibles with their hats turned backward. Naturally.
- Free Blizzards for worship leaders. We’re a valuable part of society.
What would liven up your town?