REMAKE // PLEASE

You don’t have to look very far to find somebody complaining that Hollywood is phoning it in with the movie remakes these days. But let’s change it up. Don’t you think there are some movies that NEED to be remade? I’m gonna’ list a few movies I think deserve to be reborn and you comment below if you agree with me.

Tell me that CGI wouldn’t take ARACHNOPHOBIA to a whole new level. Just imagine it! Heck, if they hurry, they could still have John Goodman in it. He’s still alive, right? This movie was so great…it was scary and lighthearted all at the same time. There are some sharp screenwriters out there these days who could do a bang up job on this one. Put J.J. Abrams in charge of this one and who knows, a movie about spiders might actually win an Oscar some day. (Finally.)

I try not to joke about the films of Mr. Patrick Swayze. Some things are sacred, but let’s be honest – NEXT OF KIN did not let Swayze shine near as bright or as long as this movie star deserved. Casting would be tough on this one, but I’ve got a pick for the lead: Lucas Black. He could pull it off. The bad guys in this movie were Andreas Katsulas and Ben Stiller. I say let Stiller back in there. (Like he’d do it.) Weirdest casting choice in the original version? Liam Neeson as the redneck brother. Odd.

Gonna’ go for a two-fer here, kids. The Batman franchise started strong with Michael Keaton and has since been saved by Christopher Nolan, but sheesh was it bad in between. I’m going to suggest remaking both BATMAN FOREVER as well as BATMAN & ROBIN. Some would rather we just remain grateful for Nolan’s brilliant turn on the franchise, but I say that both Kilmer and Clooney’s films were terrible enough to warrant a remaking.

DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE was a great idea for a film. And it came just at a time where the tragedy of divorce was really taking over the American family. It was a great premise: action-packed and socially aware. But whoa was the acting bad. And not only that…there are some obvious problems with the film scheduling because the son in the film looks like he ages two years in between scenes. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen it, but it seemed like every single role was the wrong pick. Except for maybe Buscemi. He’s good at creepy.

You’ve read a few of mine. How about you? What deserves to be remade?

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