The Problem With Jetpacks

I’m kinda’ over the whole jetpack thing.

It seems like every month or so, there’s some new story in my Google Reader about a guy who’s “this” close to finishing his prototype and moving us one step closer to future.

One morning this week, I was thinking about jetpacks.

I’m know, I’m kinda’ bewildered by it, too.

But as I thought about it, I realized that we’re going to be in big trouble once everybody has a jetpack.

  • MID-AIR COLLISIONS AND/OR DEATH. How are they going to regulate this? If everybody’s just shooting into the air where there are no lanes, it’s gonna’ be raining blood pretty soon. I can’t even drive past a automobile accident without getting distracted; how am I going to walk around with people slamming into each other over my head?
  • GRASS FIRES. I live in Texas. East Texas, where from about July to October, you’ll got to jail for lighting a match. There’s not way we can get through summer with guys laying down 4,000 degree flam bursts multiple times a day. Most of our towns would be ash by the afternoon.
  • FUEL PRICES. Think auto fuel is expensive. Wait until you gotta’ fill up with jet fuel 9 times a day.
  • DESCENT. I’ve yet to see any of these jetpack proponents show where exactly they’ve placed the parachute. That’s a big deal, right? What if you run out of fuel in mid-air or have engine failure? Descent really is the most important of flying, don’t you think?
  • COPS. You think motorcycle cops are mean, now? Wait until you strap giant flashbang to their back and make the work even closer to the sun during summer. Everybody’s getting a ticket then, y’all.

I’ve got smart readers. What other red flags am I missing with all this jetpack nonsense?

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6 comments

  1. chastity

    Can you talk on your phone and text? I just don't see how that would be possible and wouldn't your hair and clothes get all messed up and you arrive at work looking like you just got of bed. Even if you had a helmet on you would still have helmet hair. What if your running late for work and would normally put your makeup on while you were driving could a lady fly and still put her makeup on? I just don't see women flying instead of driving. How would we check FB. Where do we put car seats and even if we could put one of our back the kid would be injuring others on the ground if he dropped his sippy cup or who knows what else. Ok, I think flying would not be good for women or their babies!! lol

  2. Toby Baxley

    I'm with Robert–It would be uncomfortable at best. Debilitating at worst. I support and affirm your being over jetpacks. God bless you for your service to all mankind.

  3. Liz

    Ok, no one has stated the obvious. Where would you set up your dash cam for the ToddVlog when you're flying a jetpack?

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