It seems like every month or so, there’s some new story in my Google Reader about a guy who’s “this” close to finishing his prototype and moving us one step closer to future.
One morning this week, I was thinking about jetpacks.
I’m know, I’m kinda’ bewildered by it, too.
But as I thought about it, I realized that we’re going to be in big trouble once everybody has a jetpack.
- MID-AIR COLLISIONS AND/OR DEATH. How are they going to regulate this? If everybody’s just shooting into the air where there are no lanes, it’s gonna’ be raining blood pretty soon. I can’t even drive past a automobile accident without getting distracted; how am I going to walk around with people slamming into each other over my head?
- GRASS FIRES. I live in Texas. East Texas, where from about July to October, you’ll got to jail for lighting a match. There’s not way we can get through summer with guys laying down 4,000 degree flam bursts multiple times a day. Most of our towns would be ash by the afternoon.
- FUEL PRICES. Think auto fuel is expensive. Wait until you gotta’ fill up with jet fuel 9 times a day.
- DESCENT. I’ve yet to see any of these jetpack proponents show where exactly they’ve placed the parachute. That’s a big deal, right? What if you run out of fuel in mid-air or have engine failure? Descent really is the most important of flying, don’t you think?
- COPS. You think motorcycle cops are mean, now? Wait until you strap giant flashbang to their back and make the work even closer to the sun during summer. Everybody’s getting a ticket then, y’all.
I’ve got smart readers. What other red flags am I missing with all this jetpack nonsense?